I am pretty sure this is most of the things I wrote while at uni. Vaguely chronological in order, earliest in 2008 latest in 2012. Tutorial papers of under about 800 words in length I figured didn’t qualify for the list.
I think I wrote about some interesting things in my time:
Revise them and publish them. :D
"I wonder if they have those flying skateboards yet."
"What if they solved aging, like, right after I died? That would suck haha."
"I hope someone cleared my browser history."
"I hope my paypal refund came through."
"At least I don’t have to worry about how expensive shipping is."
if you use twitter for no other reason, plase follow @ZooHannibal
I (27/M) am not happy with the “open” part of my open relationship with girlfriend (25/F). Together 2 years, “open” 6ish mo.
How we met: We met about 2.5 years ago on OkCupid. She lived close, we met up and got on well. After a few months we decided to get together. We were not open at this point. The relationship was great emotionally. She was sweet, attentive, caring and supportive. We also had a lot in common and had fun together, which is what I lacked in previous relationships so I was keen to keep this one and still am.
Becoming open: Around 6-7 months ago give or take, I found myself feeling disconnected from her and the relationship. I was looking at other women quite a bit, and couldn’t seem to stop even though I DID feel guilty. I ended up singing up to a sex-themed website (fetlife.com). This is NOT a dating website, I wasn’t planning to cheat when I signed up, it’s more a social network and I was mainly interested in looking at pictures posted there.
When I was on this website it was like I found what I thought I was missing. Loads of hot girls, who seemed happy to interact with me, mainly. I started commenting on pictures and girls started talking, flirting with me. I knew things were getting inappropriate for the relationship but I couldn’t stop. I really wanted to hook up and date again, and experience these other women.
Not meaning offense to my girlfriend, but she’s a big girl (had been since I dated her though so I didn’t feel it was my place to say anything) and while I enjoyed her body, I can’t deny that the draw of all the hotter women on the website who were seemingly interested in me was too much and I was feeling more and more disconnected from my relationship with this gaping hole in my needs not being met. I still loved my girlfriend and she fulfilled me emotionally, but physically my desires were completely elsewhere. Eventually I realised that the best thing for me to do would be to open up the relationship or break up with my girlfriend.
I spoke to her about this and, well, it broke her heart at the time. She was sobbing on me the whole night of me talking to her about it, saying she wanted to be monogamous and she didn’t like the thought of an open relationship at all. She asked for a couple of weeks to think about it, which happened, but when we spoke about it again she told me she still didn’t want to do it. I had to tell her at this point it was this or break up as I didn’t feel fulfilled. At this, she said okay, she would try the open relationship.
So, in short, she agreed to the open relationship even though she hated the idea as she didn’t want to break up. She wanted to know how an open relationship worked so I set down a few ground rules and boundaries which we both agreed to. Mainly things like.. sleep with whoever you want whenever you want, but always with protection. Casual dating is allowed as long as the person you’re dating knows the situation (since it’s hard to sleep with someone without a date first). Our relationship shouldn’t suffer and we still need to be there for each other. etc.
My Problem. Less than two months later from this, she’s signed up on FetLife too and now 100% enjoying herself. There are men crawling all over her, her profile, her pictures she’s put up. I know for a fact that she’s been on a heck of a lot of dates, both with people from the website and off it, and I also know she’s been intimate with many of them too (I keep seeing comments on her pictures saying vulgar things like ‘God I miss my mouth around those beautiful breasts’ etc from other men who I know she has been on dates with..)
Me, on the other hand? I’ve not hooked up with anyone, and only had one date. All the women who seemed to be interested in me turned out to only want to flirt online and only wanted attention, and when I brought up meeting up with any of them I got rejected. The only women who wanted to at all meet me or go out with me I wasn’t attracted to. I went out with one local girl from Fetlife just to give it a chance, because my own girlfriend had found so many dates/hookups, but I just couldn’t bring myself to be attracted and nothing happened. I havn’t been able to find anyone else who wants to sleep with me off the website either. Me and my girlfriend still date and sleep together of course, but besides that I’m completely dry. I don’t think this is at all fair on me considering how many dates she’s been on and I imagine how many guys she’s fucked.
It got worse recently. Just this past Friday night I go out to the late night shop, and on the main road I find my girlfriend standing outside a pub with a guy, holding hands and making out. He was at least 6’4, muscles everywhere you look, arms covered in tattoos (which I know my girlfriend likes). I feel like shit. My girlfriend sees me, immediately breaks away from him and comes over smiling all over her face. She hugs me, kisses me, then the guy comes and introduces himself. It was awkward as fuck honestly, but my girlfriend didn’t seem to notice at all. After stupid chitchat I tell them I need to get going, at which my girlfriend tells me she loves me, kisses me and that she will text me the next day as she wanted a date with me the next night. She then says she’s going to go into the pub to visit the bathroom, and asked her “date” to wait outside for her and then after they’ll “get going” (back to her place I assume..).
So I start to walk away as she goes into the pub to the bathroom, and I hear the guy say “Hey” behind me. I swear he had the biggest shit eating grin all over his fucking face. He said to me “Mate, you’re a better guy than I am. If I had a lady like that I wouldn’t let anyone else touch her. Lucky for me you guys have this open thing going on”. He said it like he was pretending to be friendly, but obviously it was a dig because he could tell I wasn’t happy right then. I just nodded and walked off.
My girlfriend rang me Saturday afternoon and I told her what happened and what the guy said, but she swears that he was just being complimentary/polite to me and that he’s from FetLife, and knows all about our relationship and my own profile on there which is why he was chatting to me. I told her that I still thought his comment was inappropriate and that I didn’t want her dating this guy again, to which she said ‘Okay’ but she obviously wasn’t happy about it. I didn’t ask if they had hooked up, because I could already tell they had with how she was all over him. I told her I didn’t feel like I wanted to hangout that night. She hasn’t contacted me since then.
I feel like utter shit. I’m going to be honest and say I have no idea why a guy like that is interested in my girlfriend and not out with a hot girl. I had no idea my girlfriend would get this much attention and it makes me feel like shit. I now realise if it’s not this guy, it’s going to be another with his hands all over my girlfriend. She has guys all over her, most likely just using her, but most of them more attractive than me and god knows what else………… and I only manage to get one date with someone I wasn’t even attracted to. I still feel unfulfilled.
I’m on her FetLife profile now while writing this and I have to look at this shit every day, and her relishing in it without ANY thought to my lack of dates. Not once has she asked me about my dates or who I’ve met off FetLife, and it’s obvious my profile is barren of any interaction compared to hers.
I can’t really fault the relationship I have with my girlfriend if I’m honest. She’s still her sweet, supportive self and she does make time for me, but I feel this open relationship has gotten really unfair now.
So that’s it. I don’t want to break up with her but I want it to stop, and to close the relationship again. But because it was my idea to open it, and we went through that difficulty before she started enjoying it, I don’t know how to bring it up or what I say when I do. I just know it’s got to stop now and this can’t be healthy for either of us.
tl;dr: Asked my girlfriend for an open relationship so we could both date and sleep with other people. My girlfriend has been on way too many dates and I’m sure she’s hooked up with a good few too. I havn’t. Feel the open relationship has gotten way too unfair towards me and I want to close it, but because it was my idea I don’t know how to bring it up to her. Need advice on how to do this and close the relationship again.
I cannot stop laughing at this shitstain. I hope his girlfriend leaves him forever.
omg, you should have seen my face reading this.
Only the fact that I’m at work, in a shared office, is keeping me from actually laughing like that out loud right this second.
Whiny boys who demand “open” relationships and then get butthurt when their girlfriends take advantage of that arrangement to enjoy themselves will never not be hilarious. Shoulda thought this through first, genius.
THATS WHAT YOU GET YOU PIECE OF SHIT
THIS IS BEAUTIFUL. I hope she has the confidence to put her foot down if he tries to “close” their relationship because he’s just a complete piece of shit. :D
Artist: Tto Chan
I like how the bunny gets bigger and bigger. One day, Mako wakes up and her bunny is the size of a planet.
in my tumblr absence i have developed a serious obsession with Glee, completed an assignment, and not slept properly in about 4+ nights now. you’re not gonna want me back lol
Ella, I may have to perform an intervention at the rate you’re going.>
Snivy? Why did you bleach yourself white? D:
My favorite pony is Fluttershy and I still taste the blood in my mouth from where a boy’s elbow met my cheek. He hit me hard enough that I hit the floor. His shirt had her shy face on it. I kissed the concrete and he kept walking.
I am five feet and two inches and I’ve been shoved to the side so many times that if you are going to look for me, always scan the edges of a crowd for a small girl with wide eyes and bruises on her knees. I like Fluttershy because she’s like me, she likes animals more than people and when things get too loud, she shuts down. I like her because I’m scared of most things even though I know I shouldn’t be.
I am filled to the brim of moments where My Little Pony started turning into ashes where once had been a harmless little girl’s show. Boys with Rainbow Dash on their hoodies have sexually harassed my underage sister. They have touched my hair and made comments to my brother about whether or not he and I were fucking. They have made me scared for the little girls in my second grade class who are old enough to search for pictures of their favorite show. A boy with a pony bag threatened to rape me because I said I was a feminist. I wasn’t even talking to him at the moment.
I have grown to fear the title “brony.” I use to love the idea that a show could teach everyone who watched it friendship and compassion. I loved the idea of an all-inclusive community.
My favorite video game is anything I can shoot things in. I have been playing since before the PS was a thing. Yet with more geek cred than my boyfriend, I have been stripped down by worse words than I care to repeat. I have been asked to do anything from make a sandwich to suck a dick to kill myself. The whole nerd culture rails against the idea that I can dress in flower print and still have played both Portal games more times than I can count. I’m not supposed to be a girl and be in their space. This is for boys, get away.
This is my petition for every girl who has been spat on for liking comics. This is my petition for every person who loved something hard and watched a group of angry men ruin it. This is for every man who flinches because they’ve taken his fandom from him and made it disgusting.
Step on them by giving them the exact shit they’ve been shoving down your throat since you were fifteen and admitted that you liked Bioshock. Ask them if they only like My Little Pony because their girlfriend does. Ask them if they know every word to every episode. Sneer at them when they dress up, ask them to get back behind the grill, catcall them. Let them know you’re done letting them walk all over what you love. Take it back. Take back everything they wrenched from your fingers. Make the spaces they poisoned become unsafe for them. Stop rolling your eyes and letting it happen. Stand up. Destroy them.
I am sick of privileged babies making every community cater to them. I am sick of their pickup lines and reddit threads and antifeminism. I’m sick of their memes and fedoras and resistance to women. I am sick of them.
Take it back. This is my petition. I’m calling it reappropriation.
I’M SWEET AND SHY BUT TAKE SOMETHING FROM A LITTLE GIRL AND I’LL TAKE OUT YOUR HEART./// r.i.d (via yourmediahasproblems)
my favourite thing about australia is when a person needs to get off the bus but the back door doesn’t open and the whole bus just goes ‘BACK DOOR’ all together
Except in Tasmania where all the back door of most Metro buses have a handle and you have to open them yourself while having an “I insist” politeness argument with the other passengers.